You Told Me To Believe

I am a lost boy,
the song lingers and I dream.
Dream of laughter and peace
quiet moments stolen
in the the breaks of dawn,
and I believed.

Now the words you spoke
sit on repeat, repeatedly breaking me.
The grace we once held,
lost in the snow of scratched records
that you swore was our reality,
that I simply refused to see.

And I try to speak,
to understand and believe
because I was a lost boy
when you met me,
when you loved me
when you took my hand.

I’m back on the shores
that I’ve always known
wondering what I’ve done wrong
to be back on the land that never loved me
to be lost in my mind, never free.

And you tell me not to speak,
because its never a two-way street.
But I’m in a single lane,
trying to reclaim my grace
because I’m a lost boy
and you let go of my hand.

And I’m left wondering,
how it was so easy to leave,
that you never spoke to me,
but told me, and watched me
fall from the sky
and expected me to land.

I’m a flawed lost boy,
who saw beauty in the dark sea,
and held your hand the way you dreamed,
and showed you the worlds beyond the stars.
It was boring, it was brilliance,
and never deserved your gracelessness.

I didn’t deserve what you told me to believe,
deserved better, deserved my wings,
I deserved my grace you stole from me,
deserve to speak, to sing,
without your interruption telling me,
what to believe.

I am a lost boy
you don’t deserve.
I am beauty you cannot see,
because your vision stops
at the tip of your nose.
Because you grew in a sad way.

Undeserving, wanting and chained,
Making decisions for me
without my say.
But you forget who I am
I am what you dream. I am grace.
I am the wordsmith; the beauty you seek.

I am more than what you tell me to believe.
I am a lost boy
and lost boys like me are free.

 

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