I’m insane…I must be insane. This is ridiculous and scary and new and I must be out of my mind because today I’m moving in with my girlfriend. Now, don’t mistake my terror for not being ready, because beneath the nervous facade is a woman strong and sure of herself and her life decisions. Okay, maybe she is cowering behind the girl who questions her every move, but you understand. If I wasn’t terrified then I think something would be wrong.
Let me begin with how this journey went from a few months of dating, to moving in together before our first year. Insane…right?!
So my girlfriend and I were hell-bound and determined not to follow stereotypical…well stereotypes when it comes to the female members of the LGBTTQQIA etc etc community. You know the joke, lesbians (although I am not a lesbian so we break the stereotypes from the get go) go out on the first day, bring a u-haul to the second date and a turkey baster to the third. Well, my girlfriend and I were determined to hold off the u-haul. So…even though I have been practically living with my girlfriend since the end of September (it is January now) we were not going to move-in together quickly. We were going to take our time, enjoy our own spaces…blah blah blah….
Hey, at least we made it beyond the typical 2 month u-haul stereotype…we made it to 4 and change. A lot of factors played into it 1) my house was just inconvenient for my girlfriend to visit on days she had multiple work shifts, 2) My roommate was filthy…and I mean I refused to walk back into the house without bleach in my hand, ugh, 3) I liked my girlfriend’s house better and it is closer to my job, 4) $$$$.
Let’s be real, on bad months at my apartment my rent was almost double what I pay now living with my girlfriend. So logistically it was smart. But I played it coy…in my own subtle, not so subtle, prodding way. We talked about it, and she was pretty indifferent and laid back about it. But I wanted a firm yes or no. I love my girlfriend, but sometimes I swear the nonchalance…too the moon, with lots of love and how I find it almost endearing….and now back to the not so grossness of how deeply we love each other. So after she said yea she’d like me to move in I told her she had to talk with her roomies first. Then one night, on one of my last overnight shifts, my girlfriend crawls into bed and wraps her arms around me and whispers, “They said yes, so please move in with me?”
Well something along those lines…I was asleep okay! Anyway to make a long story longer, a week later and I’m moving in with my girlfriend of a few months in a whirlwind of blank garbage bags and crap. I have sooooo much crap. Seriously, how? why? WHY?! So many clothes, and knickknacks, and sports equipment and aaaaaah so much stuff. Two trips with 2 different vehicles and we get everything moved not long after sundown today. It’s weird, seeing all of my stuff in here mixed with hers, and to be sleeping on my bed again. And so much to unpack. I seriously want to give all of it away…..GRAH….
Anyway, I’m terrified, and excited, and nervous. I’ve never lived with a partner before and we are both now sharing a space so it might be a little tense at first, but I’m willing to take the chance. She is amazing, and smart, and so kindhearted. My girlfriend has been amazing ever since my father died, and she was amazing before that too, but she listens when I get sad, and holds me when I cry. She laughs when I yell about something he did that was stupid because I start laughing in the middle of it, and she tells me it is okay to be sad. Like I said, she is amazing, and living with her, it’s scary, but incredible. I get to wake up to her. OUR stuff is in OUR room, and we watch HGTV to get ideas for our future home together. That I know this is the first step to that, albeit a scary step.
But I shall think positive. I am positively thinking that these bags and bins will unpack themselves. Ahh hell with it, I will leave it for the morning. Wish me luck my friends, because this ride is just getting started.