Helen

So I was going through my memory box….yes I have one…and came across something I wrote for my friend Helen back in 2004? I didn’t start dating my works until a few years later, but I think it was 2004. I was 16..I think…Helen was the bus driver that took me from my high school to my technical school. We became really close friends and I looked at her as a second mom. Actually, a lot of us looked at her as a second mom, so when she told us she was pregnant we were all so excited. A bunch of us had pinched in and got her presents and stuff for the baby.

One day we all showed up for the bus and Helen wasn’t there. We didn’t think too much about it, until the next day when she still wasn’t back. We hounded the sub about it. Before we left she stood at the front of the bus and told us that Helen had had a miscarriage. Helen wanted to let us know she was okay, but that she would be gone for a little bit and that she missed us.

It was a quiet bus ride to school that day.

When Helen came back she had a ton of condolence cards and hugs from all of us. Back then I wasn’t the greatest at conveying my thoughts, so I wrote her a poem….hmm that really hasn’t changed.

Anyway, as I was going through the box I came across a copy of the poem.

 

“To Mom”

There are no words I can give
To stop the pain that you are in. 
And I can’t even comprehend
what it feels like to deal with this. 

You are the strongest person I know
your soul so strong, bright,
Who can’t help but love, 
your smile, your laugh, that fighting spirit?
But it is your loving nature, your love for giving, 
Its what makes us all love being in your presence. 

You are my second mom,
someone separate from the rest, 
for all the people that have entered my life, 
you’ve shown me what is best. 

I haven’t know you a long time, but it seems like forever. 
And I can’t help be drawn to you, that’s a given,
I’ve said not to worry about things, for I know what worry can do,
and I’m sorry that I was wrong, for once I was I wasn’t. 
For I would do anything to make it right. 
I say not to worry, for fear of the worst. I guess looking to the
Bright side, sometimes just lives in words. 

I love you, my second mom, my hero, my friend. 
I guess sometimes we forget how fragile humans can get. 
I’ll stand by your side, lend you my strength, 
You’ve done it for me, and accepted my little thanks. 

Some days I guess are easy, some days are hard. 
Remember your kids are right next to you, holding you up. 
Lean on us when things get too hard. 
As we lean on you, you are our rock.

You told me, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, 
I repeat that to myself everyday. 
especially during the times, when I was I was dead. 
You’ve showed us how to live, 
through the worst of times. 

And I’ll never forget you, or what you’ve done. 
You are our second mother, our friend, our family, 
We love you mom, never forget, 
its because of that love, someday we’ll stand again. 

 

Normally, when I look at my old poetry I cringe. So many mistakes…sooo many. But in this case I can’t bring myself to care. Helen was going through hell and I remember how I felt writing this for her. I miss her. We lost touch as people do, and I think about her often. Wherever you are Helen, I love you and I hope you are still standing tall.

 

-Faith

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