Day 12: Interviews, Insomnia, Rent Oh My

Well…as well as any day 12 of something can go this one is a bit interesting…or at least it will be when I hit the 24 hour mark.

I am constantly forgetting that sleeping for more than 7 hours leaves me awake for the next 24 and causes a migraine that threatens my sanity. Day 11 I slept for almost 12 hours….I am now on hour 16 and am wide awake. Which is partly a good thing since I had an interview today, which I think went extremely well, so here is me crossing my fingers.

World travels, helping people, learning, living…especially living, these things are what I want for my future. Vague and sometimes convoluted I love it.

Although I did let slip about this blog and then pulled a d’oh moment when I realized that some of my poetry is definitely not meant for certain eyes, but what can you do? I am a writer who is not shy about any topic this world throws at her, and I write-through emotions; I write through pain. I am not innocent, nor am I perfect. I am beautifully flawed, hopelessly broken, and I love life in its fractured glory. I also come from a state known for its blunt honesty. *shrugs*

What I have learned however, looking back in my posts to see how damaging some of the poetry is, is how much I have changed in the last 6 months. I look back and am amazed about how much my own writing and perspectives have shifted, and I am grateful that I have both failed, and succeeded, since moving here. I am me. Me is I, and myself sometimes feels excluded until we comes along and says hi. Hey I got to talk about writing, and that puts me in a great mood. It is my greatest love, and my true passion, and I am not ashamed of my writing (although the stuff I wrote when I was 7 is cringe-worthy).

Yea I’m not loopy from lack of sleep…although I blame the fact that rent is due. I want to cry losing so much money in one sitting. Actually, I don’t want to cry, I’m being melodramatic. I grew up poor, so I have a love/hate relationship with money, but rent is due today which means I have to leave my apartment and venture into the bright world. I don’t want to….damn being responsible.

Although, I don’t know how responsible I am since I spent close to 25 bucks last night online at the Itunes Store. But…and let’s be real here people…if I had anything in this world that I could waste my money on…music is definitely the better evil. I mean, I could be boozing it up, or buying drugs, cigarettes, Thai hookers (If you know the movie reference I love you and will marry you ^_~). My mom once told me that she is glad that I am her daughter (cue the loving, adorable moment music), and that my brother is her son, because of what we “waste” our money on. I waste it on music, sheet music, a laptop every 5-8 years, and books. My brother wastes his on guitars and recording equipment. It definitely could be worse.

I think definitely is my word of the day. Too many people misspell the word and it irks me, so I take every chance I have to write it out. Definitely, definitely, definitely….maybe…..

Ed Sheeran, The Civil Wars, Greg Laswell, Trespassers William, Sleeping at Last, Muse, Jessie J, Hey Monday, Goyte, Stars, Bon Iver, Barcelona, Train, Ke$ha….are just some of my recent musical purchases. The Civil Wars album is ridiculously good, so I would definitely check it out. My favorite today is The Girl with the Red Balloon, and Falling.

I am hoping to be asleep today around 3pm… will put me at 19 hours and I think that is a significant amount of time to be awake. I should force myself to stay awake all day, but that won’t be happening. I had a good day today, and the interview lifted my spirits. For someone who deals with death so much, I truly do love life, and I have no problem existing within that duality.

Question for the world today:

What is your passion?

What's Your Perspective?

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